Blegh. Pretty heavy rain today. Erik has gone home, and we are relying on the SF subway system. Seeing as the subway is $8-$9 each way, the whole trip takes almost an hour and a half each way, *and* it includes walking four blocks in the pouring rain, I may revise my plan of going downtown for yoga every morning. I went this morning, but I don't know about the next two days.

I got to meet the other Ashtanga instructor, Chad, and he worked me through a few more poses. Things weren't near so crowded, but it was quite warm, especially compared to the cold and damp outside. Again, not Bikram-style HOT, but definatly warm. I don't know how I feel about the heated rooms - I'm not a real sweaty person, so being clothes-soakingly, drippingly sweaty is a weird sensation for me. They say it makes the body more limber. I can't confirm or deny that. It certainly makes the whole experience more exhausting, and makes breathing (which is always a challenge for me) a little more challenging.

Chad did fairly intense (but not aggressive or painful) adjustments - that is, he not only corrected my form, but he physically pushed me much deeper into poses than I could have done without assistance. I love that. It is fascinating to see how far my body will bend if I totally let go. You can never go quite as far on your own, in part because you need to stabilize yourself, but it shows you what your body is potentially capable of.

Okay, I'm off to teach our next set of workshops.

-- Joshua

LA went well, and now we're up in San Francisco. Erik has been driving us around - he's great. The weather is soggy, but not so much actual rain.

This morning I went to a Mysore-style Ashtanga Yoga class! It was neat. Ashtanga is a vigorous style of yoga - you move fairly briskly through the poses, rarely more than 5-10 breaths in a pose. Students memorize a sequence of poses, and go through them in the same order each time.

The alignment in Ashtanga is much looser than some other styles of yoga. You start out with a rough approximation of the pose and refine it over time, rather than learning all the details from the beginning. It is taught as a body-learning process, not a head-learning process, so they don't give you any more detail than you can assimilate in one sitting. The teacher sometimes mentioned the names of the poses in passing (in Sanskrit) when talking to the more advanced students, but most of the time she just said "this pose" with a demonstration, or a general description of the pose ("the first balance pose", "the forward bends").

The Mysore-style classes are supervised individual practice. The teacher goes around and helps folks, but everyone does their own thing, at their own pace. All levels of students practice together, which I really love. There was an older woman who was getting help with just sitting up straight, right next to someone putting their feet behind their head. We were packed in pretty tightly - often no more than a foot space between our mats. There was the definite possibility of collision (or dripping sweat on your neighbor) but no one seems to mind. Everyone was very friendly and cooperative.

When you start out, the teacher guides you through a few poses, then has you practice those while she goes off to help other students. If you seem to be doing well with those, she'll give you a few more. There were three of us who were first-time Ashtanga students with experience in other styles of yoga, and she worked us through about a third of the "Primary Series".

Everyone ends with laying down to rest for at least ten minutes, preferably 20 or more. This is mandatory. The new gal next to me tried to pack up her mat and leave without any resting, and the instructor (politely) cornered her and emphasized that this is really a crucial part of the practice. The gal relented. The practice takes somewhere between one hour and two hours, so some folks are resting while others are flopping into backbends right next to them. I didn't mind that - it was better than the tedious guided meditations that so many yoga teacher do.

There are modifications for every fitness level, but the full expression of the poses - even in the easiest sequence - involves handstands, putting your feet behind your head, and other advanced contortion. So it is a humbling practice - no one goes through an Ashtanga class thinking they are hot shit. If you let your ego lead you through the practice, you are going to injure yourself in short order, so you really need to be okay with where your body is at right now. I overheard the teacher helping a student who had injured his knee - he was struggling to accept the limitations this placed on his practice, and the teacher not only gave him appropriate modifications for the poses, but encouraged him to see this as an opportunity to listen to where his body was at, rather than just struggling to do the pose the "right way". She was really great.

The teacher was Devorah Saks, at Mission Ashtanga. I'm going to try to go again, if I can manage to catch a 6am bus... Blegh. I wish Ashtanga classes weren't always so damn early.

-- Joshua

Due to inclement weather and hazardous road conditions, we must cancel the tree burning ritual scheduled for today, Sunday January 3rd. And let me tell you, the runic weather forecast doesn't look good: Mannaz, Raido, Hagalaz (People, Road, Hail)

The tree will be burned in a very small ritual tomorrow evening, around 7:30.

-- Joshua

I've on my annual visit to see my family in NJ. My folks have both just retired, and they are in a condo on the beach for a month or two preparing to move to SC. Almost everything is in boxes, and the youngest kids are nearly 18, so holiday decorating was not a high priority.

Feeling a vague desire for a Christmas tree, my little sister "decorated" a fake palm tree from the last beach house. How festive...

-- Joshua

Raven has a new shaman song. Oh boy, is it a doozie. If you thought the magic string song was terrifying... just wait till you hear this one. A recording for public distribution is in the works.

-- Joshua

Combining two of the best Yule presents ever... I have taken a picture of my snazzy dead fish hat (from Jess O) using the built in camera on Raven's new tiny laptop (from Fire)!



Happy Yule!

-- Joshua

Okay, I've just about had it with being in bed. The internet is boring. It is a beautiful day and I want to go for a walk with the dog. Bah. I'm in no pain at all, not using my pain pills. I'm barely bleeding anymore. I've got big crusty scabs up my nose, which is uncomfortable, but hardly feels like a reason for prolonged bedrest. But I promised to stay in mostly in bed until Raven gets home tonight... Oh well. I suppose I'll knit more.

-- Joshua

I had surgery today to correct a deviated nasal septum, and to remove excess tissue from the sinus cavities. It went well, no complications, and I'm not in pain. I was a little wonk from the anesthetic for a while, and had a crazy headache which they said was probably from the COCAINE (!) they gave me. (For real... I had no idea cocaine was still used medicinally.) I am bleeding like crazy, but they said it was normal for the first 24 hours. I'm resting at home and Elizabeth is taking good care of me. (Raven is away visiting Fuensanta, and I begged him not to cancel his trip because of my surgery. It took some convincing, but he eventually agreed. It is minor surgery, and while I do need some practical help post-surgery, I didn't need emotional support.)

For my whole life I have had respiratory problems. My asthma has calmed down with age and the avoidance of certain allergens, and when it does act up, I've got effective medications. But the upper respiratory problems have defied all previous treatment attempts. On a good day, breathing through my nose is like breathing through tiny cocktail straws. The airway is so obstructed with tissue that the slightest inflammation from allergies or irritation, and I can't breath through my nose at all. Antihistamines occasional help a little. Steroidal nasal inhalers have no noticeable effect. Nasal irrigation (neti) helps a lot when my nose is full of mucus, but that is only occasionally a problem for me. It is mostly or entirely ineffective for the ongoing problem of obstruction by inflamed tissue. Herbal treatments of various kinds helps with allergies and opened up my lungs, but nothing had much effect on the nasal obstruction.

I'm in training to be a yoga teacher, and breathing exercises are a big part of that. I can't do most of them. For anything but the most relaxed practice I have to breath through my mouth, a total yogic no-no. On almost all days, alternate nostril breathing is impossible for more than a few breaths. I'm sick of this. I want to be able to breathe.

With only moderate persuasion, insurance agreed to cover this surgery, and I'm pretty optimistic about it. I am looking forward to being able to use my nose again.

-- Joshua

Raven and I decorated the Frey pole. Work-safe-ness depends upon your opinion of wooden phalluses. (That is Bella's homebrewed beer splashed around the base of the pole.)
( See the pictures! )

Lately I've been very deeply into bhakti-type devotional adoration of Frey. It has been really amazingly beneficial for me, in terms of my spiritual expression, my day-to-day emotional state, and my relationship with Raven.

Hail Frey!

-- Joshua

I finished the 2010 Asphodel Calendar! Whoohoo! If you want a copy, they are available for the cost of printing ($13) at Lulu.com. This year's theme is the 12 Principles of Clarity. Sorry, the much anticipated "Warriors of Asphodel" pin-up calendar will have to wait for another year. And even if you don't want to buy it, take a look. I'm really proud of it. Due to the short time frame and the limited market, I am announcing the calendar before I have received my proof copy. SO BUY AT YOUR OWN RISK! (You can wait until after Yule, and then I'll be sure it is okay.)

Here it is!

Yes, it says Galina made it, but that is because I was working on her account and became confused. No big deal.

-- Joshua

Buy Nothing Day!

Participate by Not Participating

As we prepare to enter the annual frenzy of holiday consumerism, I invite you to take 24 hours to stop and think about what is really important to you, to your loved ones, and to the world. I invite you to opt-out of "Black Friday". If you are planning on exchanging gifts this holiday season, I invite you to consider non-consumer options. Give home-baked cookies. Give a donation in their name through The Heifer Project, Alternative Gifts International, or another charity. Teach them a skill. Volunteer with your family. Paint them a picture. Give a Carbon Offset. Sign them up for a Junk Mail Removal Service. Write them a letter. Re-gift something to someone who'll appreciate it. Give them a book of yours that you think they'll love.

The current favorite gift for Raven & I to give: Microfinance loans. A gift certificate to Kiva lets your friend personally select small business owners and entrepreneurs in developing areas to support. When the loan is repaid, your friend can either withdraw the money for themselves, reinvest it in another small business through Kiva, or transfer it to another Kiva lender for them to reinvest.

-- Joshua

Call For Submissions: Frey Devotional

I am putting together a devotional anthology for Frey (because I love Frey!) with the working title “Honey, Grain, and Gold.” I am looking for:
1) Prayers to Frey, of any kind. Under 100 lines.
2) Poetry for/about/from Frey. Under 100 lines.
3) Frey-relevant rituals, of any kind. Under 2000 words.
4) Frey-relevant recipes.
5) Essays about your personal experience of Frey, or your devotional activity towards Frey, or how honoring Frey has changed your life, or similar topics. Between 500 and 5000 words.
6) Devotional songs for Frey, either with sheet music, or with a recording you can send me.
7) Traditional songs (past copyright or with permission) that you find particularly Frey-relevant.
8) Frey-related images suitable for printing in black and white, such as images of Frey, photos of Frey/Vanic altars or ritual items, or exceptionally inspirational nature/farm/grain photos. (The original must be at least 300dpi at final print size. If you didn’t make the image yourself, I need some kind of documentation of copyright permission.)

Please do not send me writing that complains about or criticizes other people’s spiritual beliefs or practices.

Send submissions to Joshua: joshuatenpenny@yahoo.com. Files can be Word doc, Open Office, plain text, or pasted into the email. Include your full legal name and your address, so I can send a release, and what name you want used in the book.

Thanks, and please pass this along wherever you feel it is appropriate.
-------------------------------

And just a reminder, if there is a deity that you’d like to see a devotional for, and you’ve got some material for it but are scared of organizing the anthology yourself, send me an email. Asphodel Press is always looking for more deity devotionals, especially for gods besides Odin and Loki – they have enough! Also collections of prayers and rituals. (And don’t think that we won’t publish your devotional because we don’t know you or because we don’t like your god.)

-- Joshua Tenpenny

...from Thursday the 14th of January to Thursday the 21st. On the 14th we'll be presenting at PLAY in LA. On the 22nd we're going to Phoenix for Southwest Leather. For the intervening period, including the weekend, we will be out there with nothing to do. Raven would very much like to fill our time with virtuous occupation, because he's that sort of person, and because it's very rare for us to be out there, and we don't know when we'll be out there again. We'd be willing to travel as far north as SF, if there's reason, but probably not much further.

So we're looking for suggestions from people in that area who are leatherfolk, or Pagan, or transgendered, or any other demographic who might be interested in Raven (and perhaps myself) speaking or giving classes or Raven doing readings, who are part of a group who'd want us (or have a dozen friends who'd commit to coming), and who'd be interested in helping us set something up ... or who can at least point us toward likely organizations that you've had dealings with and who would be OK with us contacting them.

We would be needing transportation (we're flying out and wouldn't have a car), a place for us to sleep with a real bed, a door that closes, and no smoking or pet hair, a chance to sell books; speaker's fee or workshop fees are quite reasonable and negotiable as Raven has this thing about accessibility.

If you have any ideas or suggestions, let us know.

--Joshua

Raven and I will be doing a 2-week tour of private classes and readings through some southern states, starting Wednesday. While our days and some evenings are spoken for, we still have some free evenings. If we are going through your area and you want a reading from Raven (and are willing to come to our motel room), or if you would like Raven to give an evening class to you and a few of your friends (ideally without us having to travel too far), drop him an email. He can do Pagan classes, or BDSM, or sex/spirituality.

Here's where and when our free evenings are:

Friday, Oct. 2: Williamsburg VA area
Saturday, Oct. 3: ditto
Sunday, Oct. 4: ditto
Wednesday, Oct. 7: Winston-Salem NC
Friday, Oct. 9: Hagerstown MD
Saturday, Oct. 10: Hagerstown MD
Sunday, Oct. 11: Sidney NY

Class fees are negotiable; talk to Raven. Readings are paid in barter. You can talk to me about what we need most; Raven doesn't handle that.

We may also be in the LA-to-Phoenix area in January; we'll post more on that when we know.

--Joshua

So, to recap, Raven and I were were both pleasantly surprised to see that service-based relationships predominated at the Master/slave conference. There also seemed to be a great many people who acknowledged on some level the M/s relationship as a spiritual calling of some kind, or as something akin to monasticism. Also, there were a whole lot of folks who think that romantic love is not compatible with an M/s dynamic, and no one seemed to think romantic love is an important thing to have in an M/s relationship.

Aside from the fascinating sociological observation, what this prompted Raven and I to reconsider our options with regard to fining other submissives.

So, pass the word. Raven and I are interested in finding an FTM service-oriented submissive who lives in or near central Massachusetts, who can find fulfillment in being in service without romantic love. Anywhere on the "trans-masculine spectrum" is acceptable, though a hormonally transitioned or transitioning FTM would be ideal, regardless of gender identity or surgery. We are open to a "no sex, no SM" service relationship, but we prefer someone who's hot for FTMs & likes getting fucked. Extra points for being a heavy masochist. They wouldn't have to be a Pagan (although that would be great), but they would have have some interest in the process of M/s as a spiritual path. Moderately heavy manual labor is a necessary part of the job, so they would need to at least be able to carry fifty pounds, walk on uneven terrain, and shovel manure.

It would be part-time, with a firm commitment to coming to our farm twice a week. (Sometimes for fun, sometimes for work, but at least eight hours a week. No long distance.) There is definitely the possibility of a live-in position in the future, but being part-time indefinitely is fine.

So if you know anyone who would be interested in being one of Raven's boys, email him at cauldronfarm@hotmail.com and put "FTM boy" in the title.

-- Raven's Boy, Joshua

Raven & I just got back from the M/s Conference in DC, and we actually had a pretty good time. We were there to promote Alfred Press (www.alfredpress.com) or latest POD publishing collective for books on "living and loving differently" - mainly poly and D/s relationship stuff. It went really well. We had been intending to publish Jack McGeorge's ODS household manual later this year, but his death changed our timetable. Amazingly, we were able to get it done in two weeks, and sold almost 75 copies at the conference, raising over $800 for his family & funeral expenses. He had been very active in the M/s Conference and Master Taino's Training Academy, and they dedicated the conference to him. I am really proud to have been part of making that happen.

On a more personal note, Raven and I did a lot more networking and socializing than last year (thanks to Christina Parker, for the most part), and learned a lot about this M/s community. I would really call it a community, being roughly comprised of the many MAsT chapters, the organizers, presenters and regular attendees of the M/s conferences, and their loosely (or closely) affiliated leather households and training programs.

M/s is Master/slave. Given that, I had assumed what would distinguish the M/s folks from the BDSM folks who do D/s would be the degree of control. I had assumed in this community, one would primarily find relationships where one person had a very high degree of control over all or most aspects of the other person's life. That wasn't the case at all. The degree of control varied widely between relationships, and didn't seem much higher (on average) than what was found in among D/s folks. And besides, the degree of control wasn't how they defined their relationships as M/s.

What defined the relationships was service. No matter what degree of control was involved, this community seemed to characterize M/s relationships as one where the bottom rendered meaningful non-sexual real-world service of some kind to the top, even if only part time, and the top took a certain amount of responsibility for some aspect of the bottom's development. A fair number of the relationships were non-sexual and some didn't have any SM play, and while that was seen as a little unusual, no one seemed to question whether you can make an M/s relationship work without it. The general attitude seemed to be, "Of course you can. That isn't what M/s is about."

Wow. I certainly have seen many relationships that look like that, but I was not at all expecting this to be the predominant community relationship model in what was called the "M/s" community. It totally blew my mind.

Okay, I have more to say on this, but I have to go to yoga.

-- Joshua

I graduated from my Shiatsu program on Friday. Happy day! No more driving to Quincy 2-3x a week. The director of the school has asked if I will TA the point location classes in the Fall. I'm honored but no - it is Friday nights and I am already booked. She'd have to switch it to Tuesday night if she wants me that badly. She also liked my term paper so much that she asked if I'd come in next year to teach it as a workshop. Whoohoo. (It was on treatment strategies for Rheumatoid Arthritis in Asian bodywork.)

Elizabeth got me a credit-card sized digital picture viewer, which now has many pictures of the dog and two pictures of Raven holding baby livestock. Bella got me a silver chain for these rings E had gotten me a while back. (I'd been wearing them around my neck on a string.)

And Raven got me a Weed-Wacker! (Or perhaps it is some other brand of gas-powered string-trimmer, but whatever.) Bella picked it out, and I love it very much. Some folks used it to mow the Labyrinth over the weekend, and this morning I whacked down vast quantities of plant matter. Yeah! The doggie area is no longer a jungle. The thistles in the north pasture have been shredded. The huge lush patches of ground ivy and catmint (which the sheep will not eat) have been mowed to bits. I mowed my way through a full tank of gas. (BTW - big thick jewelweed is super yucky to mow. Slimy gobbets of plant matter flying everywhere. Blegh.)

-- Joshua

I love the internet.

Raven has been joking for a while about how he is the Evil Overlord of the Transsexual Empire, so last year I made him a shirt saying that. He began recruiting Minions and Hench-beings. Fabulous.

So I decided he needed a webpage for this.

Evil Overlord of the Transsexual Empire

-- Joshua

So this is an email we weren't expecting...

Raven was emailed by the casting director of "Wife Swap", saying they are looking to feature a Wiccan or Pagan family on the show, and would we be interested. Um... No. I only have a vague idea what the show is about, but I'm certain we don't want to be on it.

However, if anyone wants to look into it, here is the info. You get $20,000 for participating. They are looking for a Pagan or Wiccan family, with two parents and at least one kid aged 7-17, all living together.

-- Joshua

( Her email... )

Finally, after all this time, the Giant's Tarot is printed and ready to go, along with its lovely little book. We are thrilled, and we want to thank all the artists who contributed to this project. The deck is available on Asphodel Press as a limited edition, and nowhere else. It's only $30.

http://asphodelpress.com/ntshamanism.html

Send it around and tell people about it!

Artists, please send your mailing addresses to Raven at cauldronfarm@hotmail.com if you want your free copies.

--Joshua