cauldronfarm: Iron Wood Kindred does *what*!?

Cauldron Farm (

cauldronfarm) wrote,
@ 2008-02-25 21:29:00

Iron Wood Kindred does *what*!?
This message showed up in Raven's inbox today, and is too surreal not to share.

"I also found out the funniest thing ever about what mainstream Heathens are saying about a certain northern tradition/pagan subculture based out of central mass. I should clarify that she thought it was total bullshit, but had to ask due to morbid curiosity. I sprayed coffee 5 feet laughing. It seems in order to acquire Odian essence, all the wimmin-folk strap on dildoes and fornicate with tree branches while the men put on frilly dresses and chant the ansuz rune in a circle while jacking off, literally 'spreading the seed of knowledge' in honor of the nine nights that Grimnir hung on Yggdrasil."

Um... Sounds like a good time and all, but where on earth did they get that story from? They must have heard about it at the last Gay Lokean BDSM Sex Orgy.

Perhaps mainline Heathens don't find our actual beliefs and practices sufficiently objectionable, and feel the need to embroider a bit.

-- Joshua

(Post a new comment)

	witchy_abriel 2008-02-26 02:53 am UTC (link)
	Holy Shit, and I thought the Gay Lokean Orgies were hilarious! Where did THAT come from?! (Reply to this)

	akulashaker 2008-02-26 02:58 am UTC (link)
	Don't take it too personally, they say those things about all the pagan cults. (Reply to this)

	tamyris 2008-02-26 03:20 am UTC (link)
	G i'm supposed to be the ringleader for this one. What a hoot. I don't think it was Ironwood kindred though...this rumor predated IK's founding. I laughed so hard I almost peed myself reading it the first time. I kept re-reading thinking that I must just not be comprehending the words. ROFL (Reply to this)(Thread)

cauldronfarm
2008-02-26 03:49 am UTC (link)

It isn't Asphodel either though, because it predates you joining Asphodel. It seems to be referencing the vague and undefined collection of weirdos who hang out around Raven.

I'm most confused about the strapping on dildos and fornicating with tree branches. I can imagine a few different ways of doing that, but none of them would be my first choice of what to do with either a strap-on or a tree branch. I think they aren't quite clear on what a strap-on dildo is....

-- Joshua

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	tamyris 2008-02-26 03:54 am UTC (link)
	yeah, but remember this rumor was started by Wuffa and he knew i was associating with Raven via KC. The whole shaman thing freaked him...well, and Woden freaked him. he freaks easily. (him being wuffa). i was al ittle confused about that too....LOL. I would agree with you about the level of their knowledge, Josh. sad, isn't it? (Reply to this)(Parent)

	tamyris 2008-02-26 02:05 pm UTC (link)
	besides, these twits make no distinction between those shamans and spirit workers who are colleagues of R's and who attend KC and asphodel adn they assumed I was a part of Asphodel before I even left the Theod, despite my assurances that I was not. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	passionandsoul 2008-02-26 03:37 am UTC (link)
	I never get invited to the fun parties. (Reply to this)(Thread)

	tamyris 2008-02-26 03:55 am UTC (link)
	don't feel bad. I just learned today from this rumor that I apparently have a tree fetish. :P ya learn something new every day. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	godhole 2008-02-26 08:10 am UTC (link)
	Some trees are more fetishizable than others....! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	scinnlaeca 2008-02-26 03:58 am UTC (link)
	WHERE I want to come. And I really do mean that. ;P (Reply to this)(Thread)

scinnlaeca
2008-02-26 05:07 am UTC (link)

Also, I think maybe I should stay an extra week in New England past Etin-Moot and go to ECT with bottles labeled "Odian Essence", as a vendor. Saying, "Yes, I got it fresh from Cauldron Farm!"

Yeah, that would go over really big.

Sometimes rumors are so ridiculous that they're hilarious. I still want to know where the Gay BDSM Loki Orgies are. I seem to keep missing them. ;P

(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cosmic_coyote 2008-02-27 03:01 am UTC (link)
	You should... You really should... Odie-an Essense? Essense of Garfield's buddy? (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	scinnlaeca 2008-02-27 03:28 am UTC (link)
	dies I was actually mentioning this to eosin earlier today, I was like, "Why do people even use the word 'Odian' when they talk about rune stuff? They realize it conjures up mental images of Garfield's sidekick, y/y?" And now, of course, that puts a whole new meaning to "doggy style". ahem (Reply to this)(Parent)

	cosmic_coyote 2008-02-27 03:03 am UTC (link)
	ok. now I want an icon of Odie dressed as the Old Man... hehehe (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	scinnlaeca 2008-02-28 12:53 am UTC (link)
	<--- directs you at my new icon Look, I made you a present. (Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)

	cosmic_coyote 2008-02-28 01:08 am UTC (link)
	Bounce! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!!!! (Reply to this)(Parent)

	gessatrude 2008-02-26 04:15 am UTC (link)
	I miss all the good parties. (Reply to this)

	LOL willowwolfe 2008-02-26 05:59 am UTC (link)
	Brings new meaning to the phrase "Morning Wood" LOL (Reply to this)(Thread)

	Re: LOL tamyris 2008-02-26 02:06 pm UTC (link)
	ROFLMAO you do have a point. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	arahitogami 2008-02-26 06:18 am UTC (link)
	.............. Um. Wow. It is really difficult to have anything to say to that other than what I just said, LOL. (Reply to this)

	godhole 2008-02-26 07:19 am UTC (link)
	There is a group of guys who wear frills and chant and whack in a circle, but not that I have ever seen (or been invited to!) at CF! I would think that there would have to be significant pauses to reapply bug spray. Or lube. Or sap. Or something. (Reply to this)

	mordantcarnival 2008-02-26 09:23 am UTC (link)
	That's... I'm not sure I even have a word. Is there a word for "awesomely stupid"? (Reply to this)(Thread)

	emberleo 2008-02-26 10:05 am UTC (link)
	Stupendous? --Ember-- (Reply to this)(Parent)

kenazf
2008-02-26 12:38 pm UTC (link)

It seems in order to acquire Odian essence, all the wimmin-folk strap on dildoes and fornicate with tree branches while the men put on frilly dresses and chant the ansuz rune in a circle while jacking off, literally 'spreading the seed of knowledge' in honor of the nine nights that Grimnir hung on Yggdrasil."

So what am I doing THIS week - strapping on the dildo or wearing the frilly dress?

(Reply to this)

tchipakkan
2008-02-26 04:26 pm UTC (link)

What, and you never invited me? (no really, don't want to come!)
WHERE do these stories come from? They have to be for fun and some bozo believed it who wasn't meant to. No one really does believe them do they?

BTW That Birch Tree picture is Friggin gorgeous! (and after I thought that, I stopped, laughed at the appropriate use of the term and decided to share it) It was photoshopped right?

(Reply to this)(Thread)

	godhole 2008-02-26 11:46 pm UTC (link)
	Nope - not that I know, and the site I found it on was actual photos of the odd sort. It is the angle of the photo that makes it work - I bet if one saw it from a different vantage point it would look like a regular tree. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	ps godhole 2008-02-26 11:47 pm UTC (link)
	Hmm - then again, the left boob seems a bit...something. (Reply to this)(Parent)

	thelettuceman 2008-02-26 05:35 pm UTC (link)
	I'm sorry, I find this absolutely hysterical. As a (cynical) anthropologist, I'm continually amused by the way human nature, assumption, and, frankly, stupidity, works. (Reply to this)

	jalkr 2008-02-27 05:42 am UTC (link)
	I am going to wake the house up, with my guffawing. (Reply to this)

	fetish666 2008-02-27 10:59 pm UTC (link)
	why do i NEVER get invited to these things damn it! (Reply to this)

	totempile 2008-03-01 02:23 am UTC (link)
	rolling on insubstantial substrates laughing. Does that abbreviate? :) (Reply to this)

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